So....

I feel like I have so much to write about! I have not blogged OR made one journal entry in over a week...which is huge! I pretty much journal every day...every couple of days when I get extremely busy. I have missed it - it's my outlet and where I get my thoughts organized.



So where do I start? Hmmm...I will start with last Thursday since it was my birthday:-) I woke up as a 27 year old, realizing I am 3 very short years away from 30. I might joke about getting "old" and approaching 30 but it really doesn't bother me. Life seriously goes by so quickly. I keep thinking of the verse in James that talks about your life being a vapor...here today, gone tomorrow. This may sound very depressing ,but sometimes I think too much about the end of life...one day it WILL happen. And when the reality of that hits me (as it does every now and then) it literally takes my breath away...kind of like the feeling you get as you near the top of a rollercoaster. It is then that I realize that it doesn't matter if I live for 27 years or 120 years, my life will be over in the blink of an eye. I appreciate that feeling because it makes me more aware of the here and now...how the little stuff doesn't matter (because all stuff is little in comparison), and how thankful I am for the people in my life. When you realize that life will end everything becomes more precious...a kiss from your husband is sweeter and more passionate, the need to be right diminishes (does it really matter if I am right and you are wrong?! btw,I wish I had this whole mentality before arguing with my husband...lol:-), people and not things become priority.



Beginning today,treat everyone you meet

as if they were going to be dead by midnight.

Extend all the care, kindess and understanding

you can muster, and do it with no thought of

any reward. Your life will never be the same

again.

- Og Mandino





Anyway, the rest of my birthday was awesome:-) The lady I work with threw a little birthday celebration ,complete with cookie cake (yum!), birthday hats, noise makers and chocolate for me. It made me feel so special!



When I got home I found a very sweet birthday card and a Starbucks gift card from Mike (he definitely knows the way to my heart!)I was so looking forward to dinner with my husband at Chili's. When we got there he gave the server his name, she looks down at her sheet and says "Hall...party of 12 right?" I start shaking my head and Mike just grins and nods...that sweet man invited some of our good friends to help celebrate my birthday! I really did not see that coming. We had both been busy all week getting ready to move and I was just expecting a quiet dinner. Usually I can tell when he is up to something but I was totally clueless!



Friday was signing day! I was so antsy all day at work...3:00 could not come fast enough! The signing on our house went smoothly for the most part. Felt so good to be handed keys to our house! If you have seen our house you know that it is small, and old and needs a little cosmetic updating here and there but it feels like home; In honor of our new house I want to have a viewing of "The Money Pit" , hahaha! I love that movie. Our home is on a couple of acres and has 2 stocked ponds, which is something my husband loves. I am not overly fond of fishing, but I do like to just sit and look at the water and enjoy the quiet:-) Thanks to some good friends and family (Lee, Karen, Travis,Starla and Holly you are lifesavers! And also Larry for helping with some electrical stuff and installing a light in our living room...yay!) we were able to get most of our stuff moved on Saturday. We definitely could not have done it without them! Between moving, cleaning and fixing things these people have been AMAZING! Holly pretty much spent all day with me Saturday helping with anything and everything (that included helping me keep my sanity!)There are still a few things at the apartment but we have until next Friday to get everything out.



Last night Stephen and Brandi (my brother and his girlfriend) stopped on their way to Atlanta to see our house. We went to eat at Amici's which had good food, but not such good service. oh well, at least we tried it:-) It was also nice to be able to just sit and talk with Brandi while the guys were briefly fishing. I had met her one other time in November and never really had a chance to just talk. She is so sweet and is really good for my brother. I pray for nothing but blessings for their lives.

Tonight I enjoyed a yummy spaghetti dinner prepared by Mike and now it is time to crash and start my weekend off:-)

It's been a good night when...

... you are in a Nissan, but feel like you are in a Mercedes Benz
... you are in a modest Japanese restaurant but feel like you are in an the nicest and most expensive restaurant in town
...When you are on the 150th date with your husband but feels like the your first date

Tonight it was about living in the moment and enjoying it. I am so much more content with life when I can enjoy the little things:-)


I started the day in a very lazy way...coffee and a movie. I had intentions of going to Goodwill and the grocery store. Neither one happened. The company I work for volunteered at Golden Harvest Faith Food Factory sorting and inspecting food from 1:00-4:00 which was a lot of fun actually. It was kind of nice to get my co-workers outside of work...a whole lot more laid back and without the stresses of work. Then I came home, watched a movie with Mike and then we went to dinner. That is about it. Didn't do much, but was very fulfilling day.

Wednesday.....

Not that anyone is interested, but I love Wednesdays for several reasons. For one, the work week is half way over:-) For another, I enjoy getting my Earth Fare coupons every Wednesday. I know, that is so lame, but is something that brightens my day...ah, the little things. lol:-) One thing that I love is heading to Mema's after work. Tonight her home was warm and inviting as always, smelled of delicious food and was just comforting to be there. I usually work a cross word puzzle and chat with her as she cooks, then we eat and then I clean the dishes (it's the least I can do since she feeds me). Then either Mike or I will go drop her off at church. She always has stories to tell. The story tonight was about washing clothes before there were washing machines and, with a little laugh, she thanked the Lord for the person who invented the washing machine. Wow! After listening to everthing it entailed I am SOOOO thankful for my washer and dryer!

Well, not much else is going on. I am ready for it to warm up a bit so I can start running again. I need it! I know I could run now....but, I'm not that dedicated...I don't run in really cold weather. I have 3 months until my half marathon so I should have time to build my miles back up.

Closing on the house is being pushed out by a week due to bank stuff and money not clearing in time...which is fine. I haven't done as much packing as I should have and an extra week will be appreciated! Wish me luck with packing:-)

well....

Guess I wasn't done writing:-)

Totally forgot to mention the one thing that has been on my mind for a while. I shared with you that I am taking flying lessons....ok, so I have only taken one and have to budget and schedule my next lessons. The Lord has laid this on my heart and it was scary for me to make this step. Well, here is another scary step...it will take years before I will be able to volunteer in the way I want to...have to get a pilots license, a commercial license,get an A&P license so I can actually work on the plane, fly a certain amount of hours (minimum of 500), have a class 2 medical and learning a new language. The first thing that comes to mind is that it is impossible. Ok, is that really true? Do I or do I not believe that ALL things are possible with God? The next thing that comes to mind is - 4 years?!? It will take that long and then part of me wonders if it's worth it. I won't be able to do anything until I am 31! And then I hear a small, calm voice inside say "won't you be that age anyway in 4 years? Why does it matter how old you are?"

So now it's time to see what I am made of and see if I have the faith I say I have. Time to totally let go and trust God to work it out. I don't believe this will be an easy journey for me, but a journey well worth it. I praise God that He will change me through this and teach me so much. I am so thankful that my heart is being molded by him.

Snow!

I can't remember ever having a snow day! I was home schooled, so that never happened for me (yes, I was a deprived child...lol:-) jk!) Was so nice to wake up, look outside, take a look at the news and realize I would not be heading to work. It was such a lazy day for me. I really should have done a little packing and cleaning but I didn't feel like it. Spent my day memorizing some more of the book of James (I only have a chapter left to memorize...yay!), journaling, watching movies and that is about it. My boss called today and said to plan on coming in late tomorrow which is cool. Would be nice to not have to go in until Wednesday but hey, there is work to do! At least I can sleep in a little.

Can I be honest? I struggle so much with judging myself...my looks, what I have (or don't have), and my success level and sadly I do often judge it based on the worlds standards. More often than not I see someones beautiful house or their children or their impressive jobs and I am envious. God has been humbling me though. The reality that countless children in third world countries don't have homes or families...and yet I get envious because someone has a nicer house than I do. I should be on my knees thanking God for what he has given me. I don't go to bed hungry or cold, I have a job, I have a car, I have a loving family, I have freedom. What right do I have to complain? If only I could keep this grateful attitude all the time.

While I am being open and honest...I am wondering if I will ever stop trying to please my parents (especially my mom). I absolutely love my mom and to this day I can't stand that thought that I have disappointed her, or that I am not everything she wanted me to be, or that she questions my abilities. Of course this could all be in my head, but doesn't make it easier to think about. Maybe it will never stop...at the age of 26 I still get uncomfortable around mom if I am wearing anything I think she wouldn't approve of (summer clothes such as halter tops or bikini's). What is that about?! I know that my mom wants the very best for me, she always has...but it can be stressful because it makes me feel that what I am doing is not good enough. I use to think my perfectionism came from my dad, but now I am second guessing that just a little:-)

Ok, so consider this a therapy session because now I am getting so much "out" that I haven't really thought about....You know what is funny about my childhood? I never remember getting spanked. My mom says it's because I never did anything that deserved a spanking (my brother on the other hand got one almost daily). I know why I never did anything that deserved it....I wanted to please my mom so badly. If I was about to do something wrong she would just give me that piercing look with one eyebrow raised and I would immediately stop. I did't stop because I knew I would get in trouble. I stopped because I didn't want to disappoint. Maybe that is why I don't seem to be able to say no to anyone when they ask me to do something.

Back to the snow day- I kept thinking all day how pretty our house must have been in all the snow! I need to put pictures up of our house...will do that soon I hope! As you can see, I am not so good at putting pictures on my blog (I know it makes for a boring blog)

All a man's ways seem right to him...

...but the Lord weighs the heart.

It is amazing how quickly my mood went from on top of the world to selfish, angry, jealous and a little bitter. What is wrong with me? Maybe I have serious emotional issues, lol:-) Or maybe it's just that I am human and prone to these things until I leave this earth.

I have so many wonderful things going on in my life right now - we move into our house January 15th (yay!), I am pursuing my private pilots license (had my first lesson yesterday and it was amazing!), we are getting out of credit card debt (double yay!) and I have another race planned for April (hoping to beat my previous times).....but tonight I am not feeling as excited as I thought I would. I am really feeling the spiritual battle. Maybe it's because I am where I am meant to be and Satan is ticked. Maybe I just have a lot on my mind and can't really focus on any one thing. My brain is just in a fog and even though this is a short entry, I feel like I am rambling. I think it is time for bed; so I will finish this post being thankful that my little temper tantrums and insecurities don't scare God :-)

obedience....not just for children

It's kind of funny how when I think about others learning obedience it is mainly children I think about. How about me, as an adult? Do I obey when God tells me to do something? Or do I go sit on the couch and sit like a zombie in front of the tv until the conviction goes away? Goodness knows I've done that many, many times. It is so easy to just sit there with a bag of chips or a bowl of M&M's and go numb. I'll admit my weakness tends to be a combination of a cold day, a cup of coffee and an I Love Lucy episode. And watch out if there is an I Love Lucy marathon playing...there is a chance no one will see me that day. I have seen every single episode many times but I just can't resist. Guess the question to ask is "Why?" I know when I look back on my life I won't say "I wish I had watched more t.v....if I just could have watched that I Love Lucy episode 30 times instead of 29 my life would have had more joy in it". Ok, so what should I be doing with the precious time God has given me?

This is where the obedience comes in...the Lord has seriously convicted me about hiding His word in my heart...REALLY memorizing it. It happened a while back when I started thinking about all the song lyrics I knew, all the movie lines I had memorized and all the stuff in general that is burried in my brain so deep that I can't get rid of it....and then I thought about scripture I have memorized. Ouch. That was quite an ugly wake up call. So I have been memorizing the book of James. I have the first 3 chapters memorized and my goal is to have the whole book memorized by the end of January. I don't tell you this so you can say "wow, that is awesome"...I tell you this because of what the Lord impressed on my heart and the strong desire he has given me to make his word a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Once you start studying the word of God you start to crave it. That's my desire - to crave His word. To crave the things of God is so much better than any episode of I Love Lucy:-)